Britches-n-Prose

Not to brag, but it’s been a great couple of weeks for new love encounters, making out, and getting it on (Spring is in the air). Despite my physical connections being with men across the board, they sadly all had one thing in common, “I know I should last longer.” On the surface you’re probably thinking in giggles or possibly ‘what a bummer for her,’ but really it was a let down to an otherwise fun encounter.

I’m not quite sure why suddenly men are so concerned about “lasting like a porn star,” I mean they realize it’s a movie right? Batman doesn’t really jump off the Hancock building in Chicago, and Evan doesn’t really pound it out for 30-40 minutes straight. If I’m getting off, you’re more than welcome to get off. Hell, you can even get off without me if my mouth is just that good. Men have other tools, and surprise men, your cock will get hard again someday!!

Each lover I’ve had in the past few weeks has done their job, we had some fun, and then suddenly I’m struck with this sadness when I hear, “I know I should last longer than this.” Chill out! Have some fun, you are fucking a girl who wants to be pleasing you as a response to her pussy now dripping from cum. The takeaway guys: It’s way hotter to own your dick and show appreciation than to not have fun and stress about a problem that’s not really a problem.

Now ladies, we are falling into this same illusion. We don’t have to make a guy “cum” (by this I mean ejaculate) every time they stick it in a hole. If you’re a squirter like me then you can relate. Sometimes you get off, come hard, and still want more, but you don’t have anymore “juice” left in you. Guys can have the same thing happen to them. Some of my favorite sessions involve getting my lover off quick, and then laying back while he tickles my body into uncontrollable spasms, then rams me hard with a dick that can cause pleasure to all parties rather than worry.

Basically, I think sex should be fun, and not a chore. It should be pleasurable, and not something that causes anxiety and worry.

Own your dicks & pussies. Cum when you want. And always thank me for a good time.

Recently I have been talking about a Navy Boy, we shall call this boy KC.

I met KC about seven years ago on a trip to Pensacola, Florida with my best friend and her family. It was never my intent to meet any boys while on this vacation, at the ripe age of 16 I still held my v-card and had no clue how to suck a cock.

KC and I crossed paths one afternoon when my friend flaunted herself in front of his room mate, how gorgeous he was running down the beach, sweat running down his perfectly tanned and toned body…and I’m carried away. Anyway, upon following him into the beach condo he called home we were both pleased to find an additional three men, all equally as gorgeous, all bearing Navy garb.

Having an instant crush on the roommate with the accent, we’ll call him George, I didn’t give KC much thought. I really do owe George a lot, the man taught me to give the head I give today, and I’m pretty sure I give damn good head. My most memorable moments from this encounter were “suck on it like a tootsie-pop” and “shake it like a coke bottle.” These don’t have to make sense to anyone but me, and I rarely give a blow job without thinking of one of these tips.

Shortly after our suck-fest I was quickly reminded that men are complete d-bags, even the cute ones with accents. George informed me that while my blow job skills were better than his girlfriend’s, she was in fact coming to visit the next day, so I was going to have to pretend none of the past few hours had happened. LAME. It was upon leaving the condo that night that I noticed KC.

The rest of the week was kind of an amazing blur, like the kind you would see in a chic-flick. I remember drinking a lot of booze for 16.  I remember Hurricane Isabel was making its way to shore, bringing with it big waves and jelly fish.

One evening right before sunset we were all playing in waist deep water when a HUGE wave came crashing into the five of us standing there. Coming up for air I instantly realized I no longer had a suit top on. GASP! I dropped into the water, cringing a little and wondering how the hell I would get home without a top. As if KC read my mind, or had been watching me the whole time, he came to my rescue. Sweeping me up in his arms he covered and carried me back to the house, kissing my forehead and blessing me with a shirt and shorts to walk home in. Words do not give that story justice. Girls don’t get rescued out of the ocean by a Navy man, who kisses your forehead and makes sure you get home clothed.

The next day wasn’t so magical. I got stung by a jellyfish, on the outside of my leg, where I couldn’t pee on it to feel better. KC to the rescue. Yeah, he peed on me. Yeah, it felt good. Yeah, I used my new found BJ skills on him in his shower. Love.

On our final night together KC too me on a real date, but before I could be seen in public for dinner I had to get a dress. KC handed me some cash, gave my friend and I the keys to his car and told us to find me something nice, and boy did I!

Weeks like this do not exist, but I was fortunate enough to have one. I sometimes wish I could have met him a couple years later, when we surely would have fucked, and fucked good. Which reminds me, I should write my smut version of this story, the only way the week would have been better…

These fond memories are some I wont quickly forget, and since reconnecting with him all I can do is smile.

So last weekend @sexhero and I made our online porn debuts in an activity we called #SexQuest. Our followers on Twitter were welcomed to send us their fantasies, and we would do our best to film them and put them online.

I was pretty drunk going into the quest, and with the camera and the to-do list the sex was a pleasurable blur. I remember going to bed that night thinking, “wow, somewhere, someone is getting off to me.” That was an interesting concept.

The next morning I was fortunate enough to get to watch the videos again, and have a little off camera play, before being swept off to breakfast. I didn’t watch any of the videos again until today, and I was amazed with some of the things I saw! The first 2 videos have almost 1000 views, so thank you everyone, that’s amazing!

Secondly, my favorite video, which was towards the end has less than 200 views, so I thought I’d take this time to link to my favorite videos from #SexQuest.

#1. Anal Creampie: This has been a fantasy of mine that @sexhero fulfilled, but I never got to see what I looked like until now!! Plus @sexhero’s dick looks amazing in it!

#2. The Female Squirt: I like that I can do this.

#3. Nipple Suck: I love how turned on I get when @sexhero sucks on my nipples, and how hot this video gets me.

#4. Sit on That Cock: I was having problems keeping the heavy, slippery, glass plug in my ass, but sliding up and down @sexhero’s monster cock was so damn good.

I had just ditched my headache that had been brewing for days, and I was looking for something fun to do when I got a Direct Message (DM) from @erosunbound; “Shame I’m over the other side of the atlantic, as I’d very much like to play there’s always twitter, I guess.” This got me thinking, so I proposed a little Twitter fun “Let’s co-write some smut. You write, I write, you, me etc, then I’ll post the results on my blog. Let’s see what we can do in an hour!!! Go!”

Here is what we wrote (my additions are in italics) :

Walking into your room after my shower, I find you with a tight fitting top and jeans: my favourite. I spot a look in your eye…

I’d put on the top knowing you couldn’t resist it, knowing you’d be naked, wet, and vulnerable with only your towel around your waist…

Smiling hungrily, I let the towel fall. Walking over, taking your head and kissing you hard on the lips; hands down to hold your tight ass

My ass tightens with the your grip, opening my mouth, your tongue slides between my lips, taking it deeper as my hand slides over your cock.

Hardening in your hands, mine move around to your stomach, then push inside your top, lifting it until they find, close around, your breasts

I feel my nipples harden with your touch, you cock now pulsing to capacity. I give you that look begging you to take off my top…

Smiling, pulling your top up and over your head, hands brushing nipples as I go. Then mouth moves in on your exposed breast, tongue circling

I moan without control. Every flick of your tongue sends heat down to my clit, I can feel it pulsing, wetness slipping down my pussy lips.

mouth closes around your nipple, sucking it in, then flicking over it. The tip of my cock, hard in your hands, pushes up against your jeans

I release your cock, pulling my nipple from your suction I bend down, tossing my jeans aside. Coming up my mouth finds your cock.

Groaning as you slide your wet lips over me. I pick you up, lie you on the bed, cock still in yr mouth, then start to finger you as you suck

Your finger slides easily into my wet pussy, curling up to my g-spot on the way out. I can taste your precome, rubbing it all over my lips..

Pushing a second finger inside, sliding in your juices, as my thumb presses your clit. Other hand wanking myself slowly as you lick/suck me

You rub me faster, more pressure, my body squirms, my mouth moaning over your cock. An explosion of cum coming from my cunt…

pulling my fingers, covered in you, up to my mouth – tasting your cum. Your mouth is taking my cock to the edge, but I want your pussy…

You quickly pull out of my mouth, push your cock deep into me. My back arching gives you room to slide deeper as you press my shoulders down

Pushing down, sliding in so deep: you’re so wet, but so tight. Starting to thrust hard and fast, pounding into you. Feeling my cum rise…

I beg you to keep going, feeling your cock swell up, I can tell you’re close, I keep begging, keep thrusting. You keep pushing…deep…

holding back, enjoying being so deep in you – hands digging into your shoulders, pressing. changing angle slightly, wanting you to cum again

My pussy clenches around your cock, we’re both so close, I’m almost crying now for you to keep going. I scream, coming on your clean skin.

the clenches,your pleas are too much: as you clamp around me, I thrust hard and deep, and explode inside you, filling you, feeling you shake

You collapse on to my body, cock still inside me. We lay shaking on each other…I breathe in the smell, and giggle. Shower time?

grinning, chuckling, covered in your cum and sweat… yeah, I think a shower would be good

Flickr Image by: Miss--K

Apparently buying a dildo is now a public concern, but you are encouraged to use it privately in your home in Alabama. Love Stuff, a store still selling the apparently “publicly unmoral” devices tried to challenge the State’s ruling against the sale of these items, and came up with a loss today.

“The Alabama Supreme Court on Friday upheld the state’s ban on the sale of sex toys, but Love Stuff, the Hoover store that filed the challenge, has no plans to stop selling the devices.

While people have the right to use the devices in private, the Legislature has the right to ban public distribution of those products, the court majority ruled in a 7-2 decision.

“As the 11th Circuit pithily and somewhat coarsely stated: `There is nothing `private’ or `consensual’ about the advertising and sale of a dildo,’” the majority opinion said.“

If you ask me this is a step in the wrong direction for our sexual freedoms. Not to mention the right to walk into a comfortable surrounding store, look at a wall of dildos, as for help, and find the perfect toy for you. This is a bummer for sure.

I started on my road to my sexual freedom working in an adult store where I got great pleasure out of helping people find something to help open their minds to sex. It’s not dirty, it’s not for people with no morals, it’s for you, your neighbor, your banker, even your 3rd grade teacher, and if there’s not a place in your town where you can ask questions where are you going to get your advice?

What do you think?

Saturday night I had the pleasure of co-staring in a @sexhero photo shoot, he told me I eventually stole the show, sorry about that. The photos were shot by the talented and equally as sexy @shelikesithot, with his cat-man assistant Ryan (he was dressed in a skin tight cat-suit).

I will admit I was a little nervous while trying to be sexy in front of a camera, I don’t think I’m the most photogenic person I know, and I think @sexhero is. I found quickly though that given some good music, tequila, and everyone in their underwear, all nerves go out the window…

I will hopefully have some of these pictures up for everyone to see soon, we also took some fun shots for indieundies.com, I’ll hook up a link once that is up too!

Spoiler: if you like biking, bananas, safaris, or military helmets you will want to check these out!

Did anyone else see the story about the guy who got busted for downloading a bunch of child porn, and then tried to blame it on his cat? Obviously child porn is NO laughing matter, but I had to laugh at this man’s stupidity. It’s one thing to claim you didn’t know it was there, or try and blame some sort of hacker or virus, but your cat?!

The best part of this was later when I was retelling this story to a lawyer friend of mine he laughed and then asked me what the big deal was. Me, being very confused as to why a lawyer would see no problems with this asked him what he meant what was the big deal? Child porn is NOT a good thing, I thought we could at least agree on that. His eyes then got wide and he said “Oh my god, so sorry, I thought you said kitty porn, my bad, no, kiddie porn is real bad, that man is stupid.”

Whew. Glad we got that straight.