Britches-n-Prose

Not to brag, but it’s been a great couple of weeks for new love encounters, making out, and getting it on (Spring is in the air). Despite my physical connections being with men across the board, they sadly all had one thing in common, “I know I should last longer.” On the surface you’re probably thinking in giggles or possibly ‘what a bummer for her,’ but really it was a let down to an otherwise fun encounter.

I’m not quite sure why suddenly men are so concerned about “lasting like a porn star,” I mean they realize it’s a movie right? Batman doesn’t really jump off the Hancock building in Chicago, and Evan doesn’t really pound it out for 30-40 minutes straight. If I’m getting off, you’re more than welcome to get off. Hell, you can even get off without me if my mouth is just that good. Men have other tools, and surprise men, your cock will get hard again someday!!

Each lover I’ve had in the past few weeks has done their job, we had some fun, and then suddenly I’m struck with this sadness when I hear, “I know I should last longer than this.” Chill out! Have some fun, you are fucking a girl who wants to be pleasing you as a response to her pussy now dripping from cum. The takeaway guys: It’s way hotter to own your dick and show appreciation than to not have fun and stress about a problem that’s not really a problem.

Now ladies, we are falling into this same illusion. We don’t have to make a guy “cum” (by this I mean ejaculate) every time they stick it in a hole. If you’re a squirter like me then you can relate. Sometimes you get off, come hard, and still want more, but you don’t have anymore “juice” left in you. Guys can have the same thing happen to them. Some of my favorite sessions involve getting my lover off quick, and then laying back while he tickles my body into uncontrollable spasms, then rams me hard with a dick that can cause pleasure to all parties rather than worry.

Basically, I think sex should be fun, and not a chore. It should be pleasurable, and not something that causes anxiety and worry.

Own your dicks & pussies. Cum when you want. And always thank me for a good time.

I don’t expect everyone to understand my relationship choices, I encourage questions, I respect conversations, and in return I expect the ones close to me to respect my choices, even if they don’t agree.

My upstairs neighbor is a very “standard” sexer. He gets drunk on the weekends, meets girls, lays down a smooth line, and tries to seal the deal by bringing them home. Once he gets them back home he fucks them like a normal drunk American boy should. He closes his eye when he kisses her, and thinks missionary is the key to getting a good night’s fuck.

I don’t judge. He’s getting some. It’s not my idea of a good time, but by no means do I think he’s wrong or bad for working this angle.

I consider myself a pretty “adventurous: sexer. I try new things, I take pride in the type of communication I have with my lovers, and yes, I have multiple lovers.

Recently I was joined by the drunk version of my upstairs neighbor only to discover I was the girl in his sights for the night. The problem here? He was lacking any sort of tact or smooth moves. To paint you the picture, one minute he was trying to put his hand down my pants, and the next he was questioning my motives and dignity.

He asked me how I could say I cared for someone as much as I cared about @sexhero and still fuck someone else. He called me gross for having multiple (overlapping) sexual partners, then he stuck his hand up my shirt.

I asked him how he could question my regular lovers, when he didn’t even have to know the girl’s last name. He followed it up with telling me my last name and then asking why I’d fuck “anything” but I wouldn’t touch him (that’s a whole other story).

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m honored to be one of the “hot” girls in his sights but where does he get off criticizing my choices when his hand is down my pants? Is anyone else having a hard time keeping up?

Recently I have been talking about a Navy Boy, we shall call this boy KC.

I met KC about seven years ago on a trip to Pensacola, Florida with my best friend and her family. It was never my intent to meet any boys while on this vacation, at the ripe age of 16 I still held my v-card and had no clue how to suck a cock.

KC and I crossed paths one afternoon when my friend flaunted herself in front of his room mate, how gorgeous he was running down the beach, sweat running down his perfectly tanned and toned body…and I’m carried away. Anyway, upon following him into the beach condo he called home we were both pleased to find an additional three men, all equally as gorgeous, all bearing Navy garb.

Having an instant crush on the roommate with the accent, we’ll call him George, I didn’t give KC much thought. I really do owe George a lot, the man taught me to give the head I give today, and I’m pretty sure I give damn good head. My most memorable moments from this encounter were “suck on it like a tootsie-pop” and “shake it like a coke bottle.” These don’t have to make sense to anyone but me, and I rarely give a blow job without thinking of one of these tips.

Shortly after our suck-fest I was quickly reminded that men are complete d-bags, even the cute ones with accents. George informed me that while my blow job skills were better than his girlfriend’s, she was in fact coming to visit the next day, so I was going to have to pretend none of the past few hours had happened. LAME. It was upon leaving the condo that night that I noticed KC.

The rest of the week was kind of an amazing blur, like the kind you would see in a chic-flick. I remember drinking a lot of booze for 16.  I remember Hurricane Isabel was making its way to shore, bringing with it big waves and jelly fish.

One evening right before sunset we were all playing in waist deep water when a HUGE wave came crashing into the five of us standing there. Coming up for air I instantly realized I no longer had a suit top on. GASP! I dropped into the water, cringing a little and wondering how the hell I would get home without a top. As if KC read my mind, or had been watching me the whole time, he came to my rescue. Sweeping me up in his arms he covered and carried me back to the house, kissing my forehead and blessing me with a shirt and shorts to walk home in. Words do not give that story justice. Girls don’t get rescued out of the ocean by a Navy man, who kisses your forehead and makes sure you get home clothed.

The next day wasn’t so magical. I got stung by a jellyfish, on the outside of my leg, where I couldn’t pee on it to feel better. KC to the rescue. Yeah, he peed on me. Yeah, it felt good. Yeah, I used my new found BJ skills on him in his shower. Love.

On our final night together KC too me on a real date, but before I could be seen in public for dinner I had to get a dress. KC handed me some cash, gave my friend and I the keys to his car and told us to find me something nice, and boy did I!

Weeks like this do not exist, but I was fortunate enough to have one. I sometimes wish I could have met him a couple years later, when we surely would have fucked, and fucked good. Which reminds me, I should write my smut version of this story, the only way the week would have been better…

These fond memories are some I wont quickly forget, and since reconnecting with him all I can do is smile.

These needed to happen after tonight. I had a wonderful trip to Vegas, and @AshModeus and @LilithDiana are all to blame. She’s probably to blame for these too…

@sexhero dresses really well, oh yeah, and then there were boobs.

With the new year there comes the pondering of what’s to come…

I felt a certain parallel last week when Brooke Magnanti outed herself as the woman behind the blog “Belle de Jour.” In “real” life Brooke is a cancer research scientist, she probably wears a lab coat and some sort of business casual pant suit everyday, and you would never guess that she once blogged about the sexual encounters she was paid for.

Up until recently I worked for an institute of higher education, wore business casual to work, and conversed with high school students about their choice in colleges. Looking at me you wouldn’t guess that I had a double life, a life that few people know about, but is a large part of my life.

I spend a lot of time writing, researching, and planning how I want people to see me on here, and how thinking I will keep the lives apart for those who would be offended or just wouldn’t understand. I’ve met a lot of people through this life who I think are in the same boat, no real names, no pictures of their faces. I think it’s a shame this is how it “has” to be.

As much as I wish I could “out” myself online completely, I have a certain appreciation for how I can be who I want and not think about how it will effect things in my life, or think about what others will think. At the end of the day I like my second life, and my first life, and I applaud those to “out” themselves, as well as those who have found a way to live the life and lives they’ve always wanted.

So last weekend @sexhero and I made our online porn debuts in an activity we called #SexQuest. Our followers on Twitter were welcomed to send us their fantasies, and we would do our best to film them and put them online.

I was pretty drunk going into the quest, and with the camera and the to-do list the sex was a pleasurable blur. I remember going to bed that night thinking, “wow, somewhere, someone is getting off to me.” That was an interesting concept.

The next morning I was fortunate enough to get to watch the videos again, and have a little off camera play, before being swept off to breakfast. I didn’t watch any of the videos again until today, and I was amazed with some of the things I saw! The first 2 videos have almost 1000 views, so thank you everyone, that’s amazing!

Secondly, my favorite video, which was towards the end has less than 200 views, so I thought I’d take this time to link to my favorite videos from #SexQuest.

#1. Anal Creampie: This has been a fantasy of mine that @sexhero fulfilled, but I never got to see what I looked like until now!! Plus @sexhero’s dick looks amazing in it!

#2. The Female Squirt: I like that I can do this.

#3. Nipple Suck: I love how turned on I get when @sexhero sucks on my nipples, and how hot this video gets me.

#4. Sit on That Cock: I was having problems keeping the heavy, slippery, glass plug in my ass, but sliding up and down @sexhero’s monster cock was so damn good.

I had been looking for an anal plug that was comfortable enough to wear for hours at a time. One that I could walk in without looking like there was something up my ass, one that was shaped to fit in between my cheeks so I could sit through dinner, and finally one that was smooth enough not to feel rough after 20 minutes without more lube. I’m pleased to say I found my butt plug!

It’s called the Ryder, and it’s everything I could ever want, only mine is purple.

It’s a medium sized plug, big enough to warm me up for @sexhero’s XL cock, but small enough to wear out and about. The first time I wore this plug it was for a couple hours that involved a good amount of walking, and sitting at dinner. I was nervous how it would do, and being in public it would be harder to take out if it didn’t pass my test, lucky for me it passed.

When I first heard about glass sex toys I was instantly skeptical. Why would I put anything in my pussy that could break, and not only break, but shatter?? Now, I know it’s a thick glass, the chances of it shattering aren’t high, but I had no real interest in testing that theory out. Now, knowing it wasn’t going to shatter I thought, what about chipping? What if I drop it on the tip, chip, done. Glass toys were kind of expensive, why would I spend that kind of dough on something I could ruin so easily?

I started working at an adult store in college, we carried some glass, not a lot, but enough. We were encouraged to try out the products as much as possible, it made it easier for us to give advice, and the employee discount made it financially easier for us to try out the inventory!

Before settling on a glass piece I did my research and was pleasantly surprised with some of the things I found out. Most glass toys are made from Pyrex, which is a high grade glass that is virtually shatter resistant. Additionally glass can be warmed up, cooled down, or somewhere in between, and without a vibrator it needs no batteries and has no moving parts to break. Finally I read about how easy it was to clean, and because it’s not porous, you can leave it until morning!

I broke down and bought a really basic straight glass dildo with a little bit bigger head and base, and I’m MORE than happy I did. I showed it to my lover at the time, he hadn’t played with glass much before either, and before I could tell him any more about it it was out of the box and in me. It was a little cooler than room temp so it was much colder than the inside of my warm tight pussy. The cool glass quickly warmed up and as I got wetter the toy easily slide in and out, my lover pushing it a little deeper every time.

Since that first encounter my glass collection has grown, an anal plug there, a curved pink dildo here, but I still go back to that “oldie but goodie” first piece I bought nearly 3 years ago. It’s my reliable stand-in when no one’s there to fuck me.

What do you think of glass? Have you tried it? Do you have any stories?