Britches-n-Prose

Not to brag, but it’s been a great couple of weeks for new love encounters, making out, and getting it on (Spring is in the air). Despite my physical connections being with men across the board, they sadly all had one thing in common, “I know I should last longer.” On the surface you’re probably thinking in giggles or possibly ‘what a bummer for her,’ but really it was a let down to an otherwise fun encounter.

I’m not quite sure why suddenly men are so concerned about “lasting like a porn star,” I mean they realize it’s a movie right? Batman doesn’t really jump off the Hancock building in Chicago, and Evan doesn’t really pound it out for 30-40 minutes straight. If I’m getting off, you’re more than welcome to get off. Hell, you can even get off without me if my mouth is just that good. Men have other tools, and surprise men, your cock will get hard again someday!!

Each lover I’ve had in the past few weeks has done their job, we had some fun, and then suddenly I’m struck with this sadness when I hear, “I know I should last longer than this.” Chill out! Have some fun, you are fucking a girl who wants to be pleasing you as a response to her pussy now dripping from cum. The takeaway guys: It’s way hotter to own your dick and show appreciation than to not have fun and stress about a problem that’s not really a problem.

Now ladies, we are falling into this same illusion. We don’t have to make a guy “cum” (by this I mean ejaculate) every time they stick it in a hole. If you’re a squirter like me then you can relate. Sometimes you get off, come hard, and still want more, but you don’t have anymore “juice” left in you. Guys can have the same thing happen to them. Some of my favorite sessions involve getting my lover off quick, and then laying back while he tickles my body into uncontrollable spasms, then rams me hard with a dick that can cause pleasure to all parties rather than worry.

Basically, I think sex should be fun, and not a chore. It should be pleasurable, and not something that causes anxiety and worry.

Own your dicks & pussies. Cum when you want. And always thank me for a good time.

These needed to happen after tonight. I had a wonderful trip to Vegas, and @AshModeus and @LilithDiana are all to blame. She’s probably to blame for these too…

So last weekend @sexhero and I made our online porn debuts in an activity we called #SexQuest. Our followers on Twitter were welcomed to send us their fantasies, and we would do our best to film them and put them online.

I was pretty drunk going into the quest, and with the camera and the to-do list the sex was a pleasurable blur. I remember going to bed that night thinking, “wow, somewhere, someone is getting off to me.” That was an interesting concept.

The next morning I was fortunate enough to get to watch the videos again, and have a little off camera play, before being swept off to breakfast. I didn’t watch any of the videos again until today, and I was amazed with some of the things I saw! The first 2 videos have almost 1000 views, so thank you everyone, that’s amazing!

Secondly, my favorite video, which was towards the end has less than 200 views, so I thought I’d take this time to link to my favorite videos from #SexQuest.

#1. Anal Creampie: This has been a fantasy of mine that @sexhero fulfilled, but I never got to see what I looked like until now!! Plus @sexhero’s dick looks amazing in it!

#2. The Female Squirt: I like that I can do this.

#3. Nipple Suck: I love how turned on I get when @sexhero sucks on my nipples, and how hot this video gets me.

#4. Sit on That Cock: I was having problems keeping the heavy, slippery, glass plug in my ass, but sliding up and down @sexhero’s monster cock was so damn good.

Did anyone else see the story about the guy who got busted for downloading a bunch of child porn, and then tried to blame it on his cat? Obviously child porn is NO laughing matter, but I had to laugh at this man’s stupidity. It’s one thing to claim you didn’t know it was there, or try and blame some sort of hacker or virus, but your cat?!

The best part of this was later when I was retelling this story to a lawyer friend of mine he laughed and then asked me what the big deal was. Me, being very confused as to why a lawyer would see no problems with this asked him what he meant what was the big deal? Child porn is NOT a good thing, I thought we could at least agree on that. His eyes then got wide and he said “Oh my god, so sorry, I thought you said kitty porn, my bad, no, kiddie porn is real bad, that man is stupid.”

Whew. Glad we got that straight.